A Letter to My 35 Year Old Self

“To whom much is given, much is required.”

To Abishai (35 y/o),

Hey - at first this seemed like a fun thing to do. Yet, as I sit here, alone, at 3 AM, with a blank page, I realise how daunting of a task this is. Are you even alive? Are you living? I don’t know where you are or who you’re with or what you do. I don’t even know who you are.

But anyways, this is for you.

I turn 25 today. And as I reflect, I recognise that over the years, I’ve made some poor choices. I’ve had my losses. But I’ve also experierenced what it’s like to overcome and to win. And right now - I’m in the best mindspace I’ve ever been in. I’ve received more than I could ever imagine and I’m grateful for that. If not for God and the family and my friends that I’ve been blessed with, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have made it this far. I know that.

I have lots of questions-

Do phones and laptops still exist? Do humans still exist? Has humanity achieved AGI?

Seriously though - what kind of person are you? What kind of man? What kind of husband? What kind of father? Are you a husband? Are you a father?

Do you love God? How much?

Are mom and dad still alive? I hope they are. I really do. What about your brother and sister - are they doing well? What kind of son are you? What kind of brother are you?

How many lives have you positively impacted?

I also have lots of dreams- I hope you finally find love. A love that will be everything you prayed for and more. And when it comes, I hope you nourish it, protect it and serve it with all your life. ALL YOUR LIFE.

Do you have a kid? Kids? If so, how much time do you spend with them? Do they appreciate music? Do they like art and nature? What about sports? Are they curious?

I hope your home is a place of strength and encouragement for the weary and broken-hearted.

I hope you’re taking care of mom and dad. I hope you are committed to helping and leading your family.

I hope you’re doing your best work ever. I hope your work has a personal purpose deeply embedded in it - so much so that your work and your purpose become the same thing.

I hope you still read a lot and write a lot. I hope you didn’t stop learning and most importantly - didn’t stop being curious. Everything on earth either evolves or decays.

Do you still like to cook?

Have you opened a bakery yet? Or a little farm? :)

How’s your health?

How well do you say NO? Not just to the bad stuff, but the good stuff that prevents you from the great stuff?

How generous are you? Each person is fighting a battle you can’t see. Do you put yourself in their shoes? Do you remember to take your shoes off first?

Are you in touch with your friends? Friends - they were the precious few that stuck by you when all hope seemed lost. Don’t forget them. You can never pay them back. Pay it forward though.

Have you grown stubborn? Pessimistic perhaps? Too much ego? Is it hard for you to accept and admit your faults without pointing fingers? I sure hope not.

Don’t ever forget - remember to stand for the truth, even if it means standing alone. Fitting in was never the goal.

Look, I know you are 10 years older than me, and you’ve seen so much more life than I have, but I have one last thing to say to you-

Are you living the life you always wanted? Is it more than you wanted? Maybe less? How do you know? I really hope you aren’t measuring your life based on money or material wealth or status in society. I mean, maybe that does matter, but not nearly as much as impact, love, respect, faithfulness, serving and curiosity amongst others.

If you’re living the life you want, remember to continue giving.

If not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

Theodore Roosevelt, 23 April, 1910. The Man in the Arena -

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Dare greatly.

-Abishai (25 y/o)